Normal?

Kay well my 2nd post.
First of, I can say that I am getting nowhere near in recovering from my eating disorder. I am seeing a professional in helping me… but not really working. I do eat… I’m practically force-fed but I still have fears in eating. Today at school… I some what felt so horribly depressed.. Like I don’t know how to explain it but it was a weird feeling like, like I wasn’t normal? And I’m surrounded by many others who are you know happy and all smiley-smiley. How can you be like that? Always smiling? I don’t get it. But maybe that’s just me. I continue to fight but the more I try the more I become weak. I exercise everyday, sit-ups every night before I go to sleep so no one in my family can catch me doing so otherwise I have to eat a snack -.-‘. See the thing is, if I don’t exercise.. I become irritated so I must do so.
School is becoming a struggle for me again because of my disorder. But I’m still trying. So I question myself, am I normal compared to others?
Well it’s 12:32 am and I have to wake up at 6am in the freaking morning =.= … so I should head off now….after I have my late shower…. and after exercise.
Adios~
Bananixox

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