Woke up with my mum having to give me scrambled eggs (again) in the morning. While my mum was practically force feeding me, she told me that there was this ebook that might help me from this disorder. She said it’s better than my therapist and has ‘secret’ methods of getting me out of this mess. Yeah… I don’t think that’ll will work on me mum. She obviously wants me to say “yeah okay we’ll give it a go”, when really I seriously don’t want her to be waisting 40 dollars on something that’s probably selling just for the money.
Anyways, my friends b’day party was today. All of them know about my disorder and didn’t trouble me about it, well they never do anyways. It was heaps of fun except I tried to avoid the food been given out. As I was just about I leave, my friends got me this canvas painting of London 🙂 . It’s my early birthday gift. And I specifically told them not to buy me anything -.-. They did say they’ll be more coming on Tuesday since Monday is public holiday. I love them and the fact they support me with my disorder 🙂
After the party, my parents and my brother picked me up to go for another birthday party. I was not in the mood of going either. And you know what happened? Firstly I ended up getting a headache and was practically in a bad mood. Then dinner was being served. Effs. I hate eating in front of a large crowd, I have a fear of doing so. As I was serving myself (with my mum -.- … ) , we had the choice of eating rice or lasagna. I hate rice. So I was going for the lasagna even though I was mentally screaming inside that I didn’t even want to eat neither of them. But lasagna ran out and I had to eat rice. I didn’t take any chicken which my mum was angry about, I just took fish cutlet and salad instead. So I tend to eat slow, and my mum was embarrassing me in front of others saying she’ll feed me if I don’t hurry up. I tried not to cry because I was so frustrated with eating. At the end I did finish, however I did not swallow the rice. Yes it was still in my mouth. I didn’t serve myself a lot of rice so therefore I was able to somehow chew the food to make it smaller so it wasn’t noticeable being still in my mouth. I then told my mum that I’m going to go wash my hands in the bathroom by doing hand actions instead of talking of course …obviously the rice still in my mouth. And yes I did spit the out the food in the toilets. I then came out and it was time for dessert. I choose vanilla ice cream and tried to melt it but my mum made me eat it but half of the bowl was the melted ice cream.
As we were FINALLY leaving the party which was oh so boring… My parents decided the final decision for me to drop out of school. I was angry because they can’t do this to me!! I then threw a tantrum of having my milk which I didn’t want. My mum went ballistic at me and wished that she could die. -.- seriously?
And so I come to my conclusion where I’m about to say something which I wouldn’t have thought of saying ….
Someone please help me.
My left over melted ice cream :