I kinda stressing out here. Actually no. I am stressing out! I can’t concentrate at school because I can’t stop thinking about how fat I may be compared to other girls in my school. My LEGS ARE ANNOYING ME WHEN EVER I SEE THEM! I tried on a pair of shorts that I bought from America, remembering how fat I had looked in them and this was before I had developed an eating disorder. When I had tried them on today, I realized that I gained some fat on my legs since I’m in recovery. I don’t like it. I hate it. Absolutely hate it. I remember when I was at 38 kilos, my slim legs perfectly slid trough the shorts and fitted exactly how I wanted it to be, lose. Now it’s like those days how I used to be are coming back. I don’t want that! I want to run! But where!?
On top of that, school is making me go insane at the moment too. I know I said I didn’t want to drop out of school even though my parents and my therapists wants me to….. yeah…. is it too late to do that now? I don’t know anymore. I seem like I’m at the bottom of each class I go to. Test, essay’s, outcomes etc etc… I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I KNOW I’M GOING TO FAIL ALL OF THESE!!! I CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT CAN I!?
I’m a failure.
Why I know? Because Steve said so.
arrrrgghhh I’m out. I need my power nap and then maybe wake up and do some exercise to take out my anger.
SAFSFUGDBKSGUIFKSJD I FINALLY GOT MY SHINee Sherlock Album yay 😀 with key on the cover!
And yes despite how I have anorexia nervosa, I am a SHAWOL fan 🙂 For those who don’t know what the heck I’m talking about and thinking it must be cause she’s suffering from an eating disorder she’s like this…… just don’t worry about it 🙂