SCARED

Terrified. I don’t know what to do. 

I hop on to the scale. I put on 2 kilos. 

No.

Impossible. 

I’ve been over exercising. Everyday. 

How? How is this possible. 

My eyes are burning with tears threatening to fall. I saw myself in the mirror. I tell myself not to cry. Don’t make a fool out of yourself. So I close my eyes and I hear him (my eating disorder). “I told you. Now look what has happened. From now on, you will work harder. I will help you so don’t worry. I’m here for you.” He says to me. 

I believe him. So I will do what he says. I will lose weight. He promised me. 

My parents think I’m becoming more sociable and recovering. It’s only to hide the fear I have. I’m only pretending. I don’t want to recover. I refuse. 

 

I’m scared.

……..

I’m out for the night. Going to exercise as much as I can and then hit the hay.

Ciao~

Bananixox 

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