Contemplating

Hated today. I had a Maths SAC otherwise known as a Maths test for Yr12’s after school until 5:15pm.
I didn’t even barely touch it. Fuck. I don’t want to admit it. I hate admitting it. But I was hungry.
My stomach was growling, I could hear it and was afraid if anyone else could too. I know I failed I barely touched the test, literally a 0%. After the test everyone including my friends were happy because they said it was easy. The fuck -.-. I didn’t want to say to them that I didn’t even touched it because I couldn’t concentrate because I was hungry. I didn’t want to admit it. So here I am at home now feeling as depressed as ever. I ate my so called late lunch since I don’t eat during school at all, and then later purged. I wasn’t going to do it but when I started to purge, I couldn’t stop.

I just had yogurt which my mum just gave me, and now I don’t know whether to purge again or not. My throat hurts but if I don’t purge, I would probably regret it. So I think I will. Gahh -.-
I want to ask the teacher if I could redo the test because I wasn’t feeling well, I mean she already knows about my eating disorder. She should understand right? :(. Argh I feel depressed.
I’m out. Going to purge :/ and then take a small nap.
Adios ~
Bananixox

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