So I haven’t been posting in awhile now. The reason?
Well let me start with what had happened since my last post.
-My yr 12 formal was a blast. I won best dressed as well ^^! I felt quite comfortable on my body however I didn’t eat anything that was served for dinner as well as the desert. Even people commented on how I looked skinny as well ^^. Except I know I shouldn’t be happy about that. My parents were happy for me as well :).
-My purging hasn’t stopped one bit even though I said I was going to. Ever since my parents had found out, I had to force myself to stop. I told myself that I’ll only do this until formal is over, however that didn’t go so well ^^”.
So parents didn’t know that I was still continuing purging.
-I became closer again with everyone again :). I was quite distant towards my parents.
-Later on though, I got caught on purging. I had to stay at least an hour after each meal which didn’t bother me because I can still purge.
I became distant again towards my parents especially my Mum.
-I lost weight again even though I was already underweight to begin with. I won’t lie. I admit that I am happy about it but definitely worried about my own risk at life and health.
I forgot to mention that my Dad had booked my tickets to New York during New Years Eve! Woop :D! Just my. Mum and I though, plus my cousin. Yeah =.= … I don’t know how I’ll survive with my mum, we’ll probably end up fighting every now and then. I was only eager to go on the trip with her because we were on good terms and now it’s just…. I don’t know -.-.
I guess we’ll have to see what will happen.
So my real issue here is how am I suppose to stop purging!?
My psychologist knows about it, but I kind of have been lying to her ><. Don't get me wrong I just didn't want her to feel as if her job is useless if it's not working what she's doing, if you get what I'm trying to say?
At the moment I'm at school, at lunch time. And no I'm not eating anything still during school. So here I am in the study room doing my school work -.-.
Well I'm out for now.
I guess I have been so focused on purging that I haven't had time to post anything lately.
Sorry if there's grammar errors I have no time to check.