Wow, so much things had happened this week.
Tuesday was just …insane.
My mum called it quits for school. I refused. I wake up 6am in the morning as usual, got changed into my school uniform then I go back to bed (lol), and wait until my mum wakes me up again at 6:40am for breakfast. However she didn’t wake me up. I was prepared for this. If I started walking to my bus stop at exactly 6:50am, I should be able to catch my bus on time. So I walked out of the house to get to my bus stop. My mum then caught me and said that I’m not going to school anymore and she grabbed me. However I pulled out of her grasp and ran of. Wow..I was actually eager to go to school…. Anyways, so as I started walking my dad drove past and told me to get in the car. I thought he was going to drop me off to my bus stop, no he drives me back home =.=.
So I had my breakfast in the end, then my dad dropped me off at my stop. Oh I didn’t have dinner the day before Tuesday for some reason. I mean no I wouldn’t eat but my parents didn’t give me anything that night, so whatever. Ain’t my fault.
So we figured everything out, and my dad put hold onto my therapist which I wasn’t happy about because who else am I suppose to talk to about my problems to now :\? I hate having to keep my problems to myself because I tend to go to my ED (eating disorder) for comfort. I hear those voices in my head.
No one wants me. I should run away from home. They want to make you fat. You’re hopeless. You’re not perfect.
I can’t get it out of my head.
My ED has been a friend to me since the beginning of last year. It’s too hard to let go now.
On top of everything, after talking it through to my parents about not purging no more… I STILL DO IT.
GAAH. WHY?! I honestly don’t know myself.
I’m out for the night.
Going to purge out my dinner now :L. 😦 Ugh I really can’t be bothered. But I have to, Effs.
It’s an Eating Disorder rule. Well in our world it is.