So I haven’t stopped purging. In fact I think things have gone worse.
I think I’m putting on weight but then I lose it. My weight goes up and down. I’ve been literally been hating myself everyday. My depression has become worse.
You know what sucks? Exams coming soon next month. I can’t even try to study because all I do is freaking purge all day and there’s that little voice in the back if my head that’s afraid to speak up trying to snap out of it and just be me. But you see I don’t even know who me is anymore.
Today I’m losing it. My depression really has gone worse. It’s becoming hot over where I live however in the night the temperature drops. And fuck who can sleep in the cold night? I have a heater duct and my family leaves it on everyday however today they don’t want it on because they get hot. Then take of your freaking blanket off! My room is small and gets cold easily and I have a small bed. My family all sleeps together too!! What the fuck!! That’s my mum, my dad and my brother. So of course they’ll get hot in the night and yet they don’t think about me!!! Had a fight with my parents about it and I’m now in my room crying. I hate depression -.-.
But overall I am depressed about everything in life except the fact I actually have a life. It’s just unfair. It’s unfair I have to go through this. I already had enough torture when I was young and I don’t need anything worse!
Feeling fat and stupid is the worse especially when you’re suffering from anorexia. Fuck life.