Friends.

So since I graduated from High School from last year, all of my friends had gone their separate ways in terms of where they are studying. Two of my friends are studying in the same Uni and the other two of my friends are studying in a different Uni together. Which leaves me.

I didn’t get the course I wanted to do Uni but before hand I decided to go for a different course and focus more on my health. Which was I think the best option for me. My friends supported me so it was alright.

But because of my eating disorder, I wasn’t able to focus on my studies in school. However now I’m like 90% better. I’m still working on it though. 

Though this isn’t what I mainly wanted to talk about.

It’s about one my friends. I’ll call her A for now. 

I’ll cut the story short because it’s quite long.

Apparently last year A was also not eating properly. I knew she lost weight but I didn’t think much of it because she didn’t look that thin as I was. But after she told me she has been losing weight and that she needed to change her whole wardrobe, I became paranoid. I don’t know how to explain it. Like I don’t want anyone copying me. I’m who is suppose to be losing weight, not you. Does that make sense? I think it’s jealousy? Yeah. Weird huh? 

This year A has been trying to eat hard and a lot but I have realized that she may be suffering from an eating disorder. I was angry. Again jealousy. I’m the only one who should be suffering from it.

I told myself though that it’s only because she went through a lot as well as I did and she’s not really anorexic as I was. I know sounds selfish? Maybe someone reading this who is suffering from an eating disorder might understand me?

Anyways, I do feel though as if it’s my fault though. I don’t know. Did I motivate her?   

But I never said anything to her about losing weight. Maybe because of my appearance? I was 38 kilos :S. 

She said she has been eating so much now and forcing her self to eat without thinking that she’ll become fat. I just hope she isn’t lying,

I mean how weird is it to have a friend of yours all of sudden suffering from the same thing as you? 

I can’t let her go through I went through. 

I just can’t. 

She has been my best friend since Year 7, and always have been beside me with the troubles I went though with my eating disorder. So I’m going to help her out. She said she is seeing a psychologist, but I don’t know if that’s helping her at all. I’m thinking of telling her Dad because it seem’s like her parents have no clue about an eating disorder. 

Or I might tell her Boyfriend.

Anyways I’m out for the night.

Ciao~

Bananixox 

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